12 1/2 weeks

We drove down to Houston today to see my perinatal/high risk doctor. The appt went great as far as the baby goes, she was moving like crazy kicking and waving her hands around. It was so wonderful to see her moving so much...at one point I'm pretty sure she kicked the tumor which brings me to the disappointing part of my appt., the tumor has not shrunk it has grown actually doubled in size since I last saw this dr. 5 weeks ago. I was not encouraged, I was a little disappointed, I was hoping it had shrunk, really I was hoping it had disappeared. So to see it so clearly on the ultrasound was (insert groan here). The Dr. was not surprised and he said the tumor is growing in proportion to the baby and placenta, it's not growing faster or threatening the baby right now. He checked the heartbeat and other things and said that there were no signs of congestive heart failure and that the baby looked great...he's hopeful. I may have been a little surprised at the news, but the Dr wasn't and most importantly neither is God, he knew we would be walking this road long before we did...he chose this path for us, so here we are taking it one day at a time praying for health for this baby, and peace for us. We appreciate all your prayers. Jeremiah 29:11

Update

Just a little update for you! Vacation Bible School went great, I had the most awesome helper :-) and a group of fun kids! As great as it was I am soooo glad it's over, and now we are having a relaxing week sticking close to home. I did have a doctors appt yesterday which I was seriously nervous about and pretty much started crying as soon as I walked in the exam room. This was my first appt. back with my reg. ob who I really like, but she is the one who has always had to give me bad news so understandably we were scared. Everything went great though, we got to see her moving all around and we are measuring 11 weeks and 2 days! I know I mentioned before that we think its a girl, out of 5 pregnancies we know 3 of them were girls and also apparently pregnancies that are complicated with this choriangioma tumor are more common with girl babies than with boys. So until we are told otherwise I will refer to this baby as a she :-).

The Update!

So the reason I haven't been writing much lately is because anything I said would most likely wind up with me referring to "this" and I really didn't want to talk about it... But I guess now is the time, so if you didn't know or haven't figured it out then.... we're pregnant again.
Yay, congrats, how exciting...yea whatever, After 3 miscarriages that positive pregnancy test that used to be so exciting now brings the feeling of fear and those ultrasounds that we used to so look forward to now are spent with my eyes closed praying please see a heartbeat,please see a heartbeat.
We are now entering our ninth week of pregnancy and of course we would be dealing with something very out of the ordinary. A few weeks ago the nurse noticed for lack of better words a "blob" in the placenta with the baby. She didn't know what it was so we watched...next appt. the "blob" was still there so the Dr. looks at it, he says maybe a molar pregnancy, twin pregnancy that died, or blood vessels, "I'm not sure". So off to the hospital, after a student, ultrasound tech, and ultimately the radiologist all come in and do ultrasounds...the verdict "we don't know". "I'm going to die" I know, silly right, but this was my thought, I was scared out of my mind. Well one appt with a high risk pregnancy specialist later and he tells me I have a chorioangioma tumor. WHAT! yea that was my reaction too. Apparently it's a benign tumor that can grow and can cause pregnancy complications for the baby, congestive heart failure, premature birth, miscarriage just to name a few. It could also stay the same and cause no complications at all, obviously this is what we are praying for. The doctor says he's cautiously optimistic...which after 3 miscarriages I'm always cautiously optimistic:-)
So here we are again dealing with a whole new set of issues. Relying on God day by day and thanking him for each moment I have with this baby.