12 1/2 weeks

We drove down to Houston today to see my perinatal/high risk doctor. The appt went great as far as the baby goes, she was moving like crazy kicking and waving her hands around. It was so wonderful to see her moving so much...at one point I'm pretty sure she kicked the tumor which brings me to the disappointing part of my appt., the tumor has not shrunk it has grown actually doubled in size since I last saw this dr. 5 weeks ago. I was not encouraged, I was a little disappointed, I was hoping it had shrunk, really I was hoping it had disappeared. So to see it so clearly on the ultrasound was (insert groan here). The Dr. was not surprised and he said the tumor is growing in proportion to the baby and placenta, it's not growing faster or threatening the baby right now. He checked the heartbeat and other things and said that there were no signs of congestive heart failure and that the baby looked great...he's hopeful. I may have been a little surprised at the news, but the Dr wasn't and most importantly neither is God, he knew we would be walking this road long before we did...he chose this path for us, so here we are taking it one day at a time praying for health for this baby, and peace for us. We appreciate all your prayers. Jeremiah 29:11

Prayer

I've been thinking alot about prayer lately. Well, mostly about how God answers prayers. When I was pregnant I wanted a miracle, I prayed for Gods will, but at the same time I wanted my will, my desire, a baby to hold. God knew that, he knew what I wanted. When I didn't get what I wanted I was okay, I really amazingly was. I knew, I know, that God is in control but did he answer my prayer?

Becca has been asking me for a LuLu. (LuLu is parker girl translation of some silly looking doll you can get from build-a-bear) Last time we went to build-a-bear Becca picked out a bear or something and Emma picked out this doll. Now of course many months later Becca wants what her sister has, and she asks me for it constantly. My answer has been not right now, you will have to wait. She has asked me a question and I have answered her, it's not at all what she wants to hear, but all the same she has been given an answer.


God answers all heartfelt prayers. His answer might be yes, it might be no, or it may be wait. If His answer is no or wait we cannot say that our prayer has not been answered, just because it was not the answer we wanted or expected to hear. Just like Becca asking for a LuLu the answer she was given is not one she wants to hear, but she knows that I Love her. I will not let her down, I know what is best for her right now, in the same way God knows what is best for us. I can rest assured knowing that He is in control, He is not surprised by anything that is happening, God loves me!

"No matter where we are, God is as close as a prayer"

Please Pray for Baby Jonah

This is a blog I have been following for a while, she lost her first child at 37 weeks and was induced with her second child last week, Jonah was born with a rare and very serious skin disorder, they think it may be what her first child died of. She has asked for prayer and I wanted to pass this on.

We have had a busy week at our house, so I haven't had much computer time to update things. I had 2 Dr. appts last week, one with my regular ob who I am so excited to be back with, the next was with the specialist. Both appts went great baby was growing on schedule and the heartbeat was very strong. The specialist released me this week to my regular ob who I will see once a week until I am atleast 16 weeks! That was very exciting, it seems like a milestone atleast. Thankyou all so much for your prayers, and please don't stop. I couln't dream that I would make it this far, but we still have a very long road ahead of us and your prayers are what keep us going.

Moments

Life is full of all kinds of moments, happy, sad, moments you would rather forget shall I go on.... but one of my favorites is those moments that make you go Awww. Yesterday as the girls and I waited in the car at dance class they noticed a man standing on the side of the road. If you live out here then you have seen them all dressed up as the statue of liberty right in time for tax season. Well we were discussing that no he wasn't crazy as they called him (crazy man) but I explained that it was his job to stand out there and hold his sign so people would come to his business. It was quiet for a minute and we moved on to another subject, then Emma said
E: "Do we need to pray for him"
Me: for who
E: for the man out there
Me: Of course we can pray for him, but why?
E: Cause Momma its really cold and he does not have a jacket on
AWWWW
What a special moment to sit in the car with my two girls and pray for someone because they felt the need to. When we said Amen, I wondered if that man could feel it, could he feel that someone at that moment was praying for him, I like to believe he could. Prayer is such a powerful thing, when we pray, but also when we pray for others. I know that the prayers that have been sent up on my behalf are what got me through some very hard moments in my life and continue to get me through all kinds of MOMENTS.


Funny moment.... Emma also asked me who God was to Jesus, before I could try to explain that Becca said I think its probably his grandpa. Isn't it great how many moments God gives us!

PLEASE PRAY

Update.....
Praise God, I just heard from Becky, her levels are still going up so she will go in for another ultrasound on Thursday! This is great news but please continue to pray that they will be able to see the heartbeat Thursday. See we have this dream that our kids are going to get to grow up together, and we both know that Gods ways are not always our ways, we get that... but we are praying that maybe this time our dream will come true, maybe we can have our happy ending.



I have a friend who has gone through pretty much the same thing I have with the miscariages, except her first one was with twins. She has told me that they are expecting as well but her doctor has not been able to find a heartbeat yet. She will find out tomorrow if her levels are going up which is good (so that's what I'm praying for) I have been where she is at and my heart hurts for her right now. She is so deserving of this baby, I want so bad for her to have her happy ending. Please Keep Becky and her family in your prayers.