The Update!

So the reason I haven't been writing much lately is because anything I said would most likely wind up with me referring to "this" and I really didn't want to talk about it... But I guess now is the time, so if you didn't know or haven't figured it out then.... we're pregnant again.
Yay, congrats, how exciting...yea whatever, After 3 miscarriages that positive pregnancy test that used to be so exciting now brings the feeling of fear and those ultrasounds that we used to so look forward to now are spent with my eyes closed praying please see a heartbeat,please see a heartbeat.
We are now entering our ninth week of pregnancy and of course we would be dealing with something very out of the ordinary. A few weeks ago the nurse noticed for lack of better words a "blob" in the placenta with the baby. She didn't know what it was so we watched...next appt. the "blob" was still there so the Dr. looks at it, he says maybe a molar pregnancy, twin pregnancy that died, or blood vessels, "I'm not sure". So off to the hospital, after a student, ultrasound tech, and ultimately the radiologist all come in and do ultrasounds...the verdict "we don't know". "I'm going to die" I know, silly right, but this was my thought, I was scared out of my mind. Well one appt with a high risk pregnancy specialist later and he tells me I have a chorioangioma tumor. WHAT! yea that was my reaction too. Apparently it's a benign tumor that can grow and can cause pregnancy complications for the baby, congestive heart failure, premature birth, miscarriage just to name a few. It could also stay the same and cause no complications at all, obviously this is what we are praying for. The doctor says he's cautiously optimistic...which after 3 miscarriages I'm always cautiously optimistic:-)
So here we are again dealing with a whole new set of issues. Relying on God day by day and thanking him for each moment I have with this baby.