Moments

Life is full of all kinds of moments, happy, sad, moments you would rather forget shall I go on.... but one of my favorites is those moments that make you go Awww. Yesterday as the girls and I waited in the car at dance class they noticed a man standing on the side of the road. If you live out here then you have seen them all dressed up as the statue of liberty right in time for tax season. Well we were discussing that no he wasn't crazy as they called him (crazy man) but I explained that it was his job to stand out there and hold his sign so people would come to his business. It was quiet for a minute and we moved on to another subject, then Emma said
E: "Do we need to pray for him"
Me: for who
E: for the man out there
Me: Of course we can pray for him, but why?
E: Cause Momma its really cold and he does not have a jacket on
AWWWW
What a special moment to sit in the car with my two girls and pray for someone because they felt the need to. When we said Amen, I wondered if that man could feel it, could he feel that someone at that moment was praying for him, I like to believe he could. Prayer is such a powerful thing, when we pray, but also when we pray for others. I know that the prayers that have been sent up on my behalf are what got me through some very hard moments in my life and continue to get me through all kinds of MOMENTS.


Funny moment.... Emma also asked me who God was to Jesus, before I could try to explain that Becca said I think its probably his grandpa. Isn't it great how many moments God gives us!

ultrasound #1

Update...
My levels have gone up which is a good sign, my estrogen level was a little low, so they have me on two patches instead of one. I go in Thursday afternoon, and will actually see the dr. and not the nurse.

We went in for our first ultrasound today, They were able to see a sac, but no heartbeat or baby yet. I am measuring about 5 weeks, so the nurse said this is pretty normal, of course this did not make me feel much better. They will call me this afternoon to let me know if my levels are going up and I go back in on Thursday for another ultrasound, so continue to pray.

PLEASE PRAY

Update.....
Praise God, I just heard from Becky, her levels are still going up so she will go in for another ultrasound on Thursday! This is great news but please continue to pray that they will be able to see the heartbeat Thursday. See we have this dream that our kids are going to get to grow up together, and we both know that Gods ways are not always our ways, we get that... but we are praying that maybe this time our dream will come true, maybe we can have our happy ending.



I have a friend who has gone through pretty much the same thing I have with the miscariages, except her first one was with twins. She has told me that they are expecting as well but her doctor has not been able to find a heartbeat yet. She will find out tomorrow if her levels are going up which is good (so that's what I'm praying for) I have been where she is at and my heart hurts for her right now. She is so deserving of this baby, I want so bad for her to have her happy ending. Please Keep Becky and her family in your prayers.

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday written on Sunday!
I did not throw out a cookie sheet because the stinkin cookies were so flat that they were never going to come off the pan and who wants to work that hard to get cookies off a pan when you can't eat them? NOT ME
It was not I that spent a small fortune on a certain test until we got the results we wanted and then proceeded to buy two more boxes just to make sure the other tests were not faulty!

Thats right!!! Our big announcement... We are expecting again! Josh and I are so incredibly excited, but also scared out of our minds. I saw the fertility specialist twice last week for blood work and everything came back good my levels were steadily going up so that was great. Last Wednesday I started on the lovenox injections, Josh has been so great to give these to me every night, I am also on progestorone patches and another hormone. Sooo pray for Josh cause if he thought I was hormonal before then he's in for a treat! Actually though so far I have had no complications, I don't feel pregnant at all which scares me a little I go in Tuesday for my first ultrasound and more bloodwork. If you are wondering why on earth we are telling people so early, It's because we figured the earlier you knew the earlier you could start praying.
Our prayer is not so much for a healthy baby, God knows we want that, but for strength to overcome this fear. For peace, that we will remember no matter what happens, whether we get to hold our baby in 9 months or hold her in eternity, to remember that God is in control and he has a perfect plan that we don't know about yet. Pray that no matter what happens we will give all glory to God. I can not begin to tell you how much your prayers mean to us, they are what will get us through the next few weeks and months.

Just Me

Since I think we may be getting some new readers there are a few things I need you to know. This blog is my way of journaling, I am letting you into my head oooh scary place to be right :) This is me, my writing may be random at times, you'll hear about my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my crazy kids... but basically its just me being totally honest, up close and personal. I don't think when I write as you can tell! and I do not proof read if I did there would never be anything on here, I am way to hard on myself. So if you want to join me on this crazy journey then check in every so often my writing is sporadic and I won't be posting everyday (I don't have that much time) I will be posting a BIG announcement on Monday so I hope you will check in for that! Hope some of this makes sense cause I won't be going back to reread (as I told you, I don't proofread :-)

Is reread a word aargh I'm proofing

Things they Say

Conversation between me and Emma, We had just finished breakfast and Emma says...
E: Mommy can I have a chocolate chip cookie
Me: No, not right now
E: (hands on hips in a level voice she states a fact) Mom, I'm getting angry at you.
I had to turn my head so I wouldn't laugh, seriously, she's TWO

Not Me Monday!!!

It's time for another "Not Me Monday" So Here we go.....
I would never let my kids eat cheetos for breakfast just because I wasn't ready to get out of bed yet, NEVER!
And just for MeaMea and LK...
I did not watch as my two beautiful princesses picked up dried cow poop to throw in the pond (I can't believe I just wrote that) Nope not me!
I hope everyone had a great Monday! Please be in prayer for me and my family this week this is a exciting week, lots of big things happening. But for Josh and I it is also a week tinged with sadness so any prayers sent up on our behalf would be greatly appreciated. To all my readers (I'm laughing KiKi) We love and appreciate you, and if you ever tell anyone my kids pick up cow poop....oh wait those weren't my kids! NOPE NOT ME

What If....

I had a hard day today, I have made peace with what happened with my miscarriages, but not a day goes by that I don't think about both my babies. We are coming up to both due dates, Taylors is Jan. 21st and Maisyns Feb. 3. I seem to be doing the what ifs lately, what if I had Taylor, I would be planning a first birthday! What if I was still pregnant with Maisyn, I would be getting ready to bring a new baby home. Last week in Sunday school whe studied Psalm 42 and 43 One of the things that really struck me was how many times the Psalmist asks God Why, why are these things happening to me. I found comfort in that, the Bible does not teach that we as believers will never face disapointment, but it is filled with examples of people who faced saddness, loss and hardships, It shows us what to do when we face depression, We can still trust God, give him control yet there is still room to ask him Why, why did this happen? We are planning on trying to have another baby soon, I have seen a specialist and once we are pregnant again he will start me on daily injections of a blood thinner, they believe that both miscarriages were caused by blood clots restricting air flow to the placenta. As nervous as I am about going through this again I have a certain peace, My God is the same today as he was yesterday and he will be the same tomorrow so no matter what happens I can put my faith in that.

Nope not Me

Not me Mondays is something started by another blogger (www.mycharmingkids.net) her button for some reason would not post on my page, but basically it is just a wonderful way to get out all those things that you did not do during the week! wink wink ;-)


When my kids asked me what I was eating I most certainly did not tell them Mommys medicine because I didn't want to share my last hershey kiss, nope not me

After going to the grocery store and feeling quite great about myself I did not after getting home realize the shirt I wore still had the price tag hanging out of it. How embarrasing would that be! Glad it wasn't me.

And I definitely did not switch out my girls dance teachers belated christmas present (a scarf, gloves and hat) for something else because I decided that I myself needed a super cute scarf...what! It was cold! But who cares because that was soooo not something I would do.

Hope everyone has a great Monday!!!!

My "not resolution"

I haven't forgot you, really! There just hasn't been to much to post, Nothing exciting which can be a good thing. I am doing pretty well on my "not resolutions" for the new year, I have a list of things I wish to do this year I won't bore you with all the details but one of them was "turn the tv off" My kids have never watched that much tv they will watch a cartoon or two in the morning woohoo for MickeyMouse Clubhouse! But during the day the tv is hardly ever on. Then the little angels go to bed and all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch "my shows" which is pretty much anything on tv. I looked forward to that time because all I do is run all day and this was a time I could sit and not think about anything. I was forgoing (word?) my time with God to sit there and "not think" about the trash I was letting in. Does this make sense? Anyways So all this week I have put the remote down and picked my bible up, It has made a huge difference, I feel calmer during the day, I'm working on my patience level def. not perfect there :) and I'm also learning so much about this awesome God I serve. Sooooo if anyone wants a challenge then go ahead and try it with me! Put the remote down and Pick up the Bible!!! See what difference it makes in your life

It's been a year!

So apparently I'm a blog reading junkie, cause I can't seem to want to sit down and write. But Hey its a new year so maybe I'll add this to my long list of things I want to get better at:) 2008 was how do they say "it was the best of times it was the worst of times" I really wish now that I had blogged about it cause there is just to much to even get you caught up on. So major points cause I will probably refer to this later as I write and I think you just need to know. Josh and I found out we were pregnant again May of 08, It was the most wonderful thing ever, I appreciated every bit of the pregnancy because of my last pregnancy. My amazing doctor had me coming in every week for ultrasounds because I was so incredibly nervous, in August I went in after skipping a week and she could not find a heartbeat, we were devestated I was 16 weeks. I had to be admitted into the hospital so they could induce me for labor, I was scared out of my mind, but God sent the most wonderful nurses to help me through. Our little girl Maisyn was born August 18th at 1:30 AM. She was super tiny of course but had 10 fingers and 10 toes and her little nose looked just like her sister Emmas, she was beautiful. I went through a really hard time after that, I couldn't understand why God would do this again when we wanted her so badly. Honestly my spiritual walk really faltered after that, I knew what I believed and why but it was hard and I'm not good at hard. I wanted God but I didn't feel him, I wanted him to come to me, I didn't want to look for him. Well I'm looking now and I'm finding some really cool stuff about our super awesome God who only wants whats best for us, this creator who gave me life who made this world we live on There are no words to even begin to describe his awesomness! So really stay with me I'm going to be a better blogger and yea sometimes I make up words and use commas just because I want to, but I'm going to make 2009 the best year ever! You don't want to miss it!