Gods Perfect Plan

This post may not make any sense, it is written more for myself than anyone else, sometimes it helps me to process things when I write them down. Today I went in for another ultrasound... Lets back up a little, My first ultrasound I went in and saw a sac but no yolk sac or heartbeat. My next ultrasound I went in very nervously and we were able to see a yolk sac but still no heartbeat I was so excited, the pregnancy was progressing... Then that same afternoon the nurse called and said my hcg levels had not increased as much as they wanted, my hopes were shot down, I didn't think I would make it through the weekend until my next ultrasound. I made it through and Tuesday came, I went in praying for Gods will, hoping for the best but fully expecting to see nothing. The nurse basically prepared me for the same thing, then she did the ultrasound and there was a heartbeat!! I rejoiced, over lunch Josh and I discussed names we were so excited. This afternoon the nurse called, my levels are still going up but not as much as they should be, she told me that "we would take it day by day, sometimes the pregnancy fights to continue, but then the heart stops thats what we will be looking for." I was devestated, I picked up my bible and just held it and prayed, I asked God "why do you keep giving me something and taking it away that same day?" and that still small voice in me said "I haven't taken anything away.. you went in expecting nothing I gave you a yolk sac, the nurse called and gave you doubt, you all went in expecting nothing I gave you a heartbeat, the nurse gave you doubt. I have taken away nothing" So today I am choosing to pray and believe that we are going to get a miracle.. If a miracle is not Gods plan then I am okay with that, I will praise God if I get to hold this baby on earth or if I get to hold this baby in heaven. This child belongs to God and what better capable hands could he be in. Will you join me and pray for our miracle and for us that we will accept Gods plan for our lives, that we will seek Gods will and make something out of whatever situation God gives us.