What If....

I had a hard day today, I have made peace with what happened with my miscarriages, but not a day goes by that I don't think about both my babies. We are coming up to both due dates, Taylors is Jan. 21st and Maisyns Feb. 3. I seem to be doing the what ifs lately, what if I had Taylor, I would be planning a first birthday! What if I was still pregnant with Maisyn, I would be getting ready to bring a new baby home. Last week in Sunday school whe studied Psalm 42 and 43 One of the things that really struck me was how many times the Psalmist asks God Why, why are these things happening to me. I found comfort in that, the Bible does not teach that we as believers will never face disapointment, but it is filled with examples of people who faced saddness, loss and hardships, It shows us what to do when we face depression, We can still trust God, give him control yet there is still room to ask him Why, why did this happen? We are planning on trying to have another baby soon, I have seen a specialist and once we are pregnant again he will start me on daily injections of a blood thinner, they believe that both miscarriages were caused by blood clots restricting air flow to the placenta. As nervous as I am about going through this again I have a certain peace, My God is the same today as he was yesterday and he will be the same tomorrow so no matter what happens I can put my faith in that.